littleblacksheep: (EVIL=SEXY)
[personal profile] littleblacksheep


So, the title for this ep didn't fit, at all. I kept expecting a humorous episode, when it was so not (except for the rock-paper-scissor scene YAY), but that is not to say I thought this ep sucked. Not at all.

While most people seem to be of the opinion that this ep screwed up John Winchester characterization, I think it made him a lot more interesting (never was a John fan, he was hot yeah, but not really a great dad to Sam and Dean), and this is the first time I'm actually deeply thinking about John and his motives and how the whole Winchester family is defined by its yearning for normalcy. John Winchester came to Hunting only because of Mary's death, without that he would have been living the life with Sam and Dean that he was living with Adam and his mother. But Mary's death destroyed all concept of normal life for John, and Sam and Dean were always the reminders of what happened and how he got into finding out the seedy underbelly of the world.

But the fact that in his heart he never stopped yearning for what he lost (not just Mary, but the ignorance of Hunting and all that - and even Mary didn't want that life, seeing what it did to her father and to her family) and tried getting some of that by living a double life makes him a hypocrite (throwing out Sam because he does exactly the same? ahaha), but it also makes him more human to me. Because he wasn't perfect, far from it, and like most people he hated getting reminded of his own hypocrisy. Maybe he was even jealous of Sam, because Sam was going out and actually achieving what he could not, while also feeling betrayed by Sam, when he poured his life into avenging Mary's death.
People categorize the people they live with, put them in boxes of: friend, not friend, I know this person but I don't particularly like them, etc., and people alter their behaviour according to those categories. People breaking out of those boxes, breaking out of those rules you made for them in your head never really goes by without fights.

Okay, onto Sam, we started out this show getting to know Sam as someone who craved the normalcy of people who had nothing to do with hunting, since that was all he was ever allowed to experience. But that went very bad as we all know and I think that this is why Sam will actually go off the deep end soon, because he only really knows the evil side of humanity/the world and the one time he tried out the different side he learns that it doesn't work. There is no normalcy, only people who are ignorant to the countless dangers they don't see. And that is just not healthy, or in any way helps to stabilize the sanity of someone. During the show they've showed us how Sam and John are very similar, even more so than Dean and John, in their ruthlessness for revenge, in their almost sociopathic ability to disregard any moral roles (when it comes to hunting). But I think Sam is even worse than John in a lot of aspects, and I don't think this show will, or should end happily. The show is always telling us how Sam is becoming more and more evil/dangerous and Dean has to stop him, but in my personal canon, Sam is long past any ability to ever live normally ever again. The only thing that keeps him remotely sane is Dean, another thing that has been told to us many times, but as it becomes more evident, even Dean is losing his grip on Sam and basically has to watch his brother slip into insanity.
Which is why I am so in love with the Sam is the Antichrist theory, because it fits so good. And Sam's epic fall into believing that the world is practically made of evil and almost beyond hope is what I believe the show has been building up for all 4 seasons.

And now, for Dean, I think this episode, if it wanted to or not, drove home the point that Dean is a lot more similar to John than even he realizes. Not only because he went from living a normal life to hunting and actually knew what happiness was, but also because he never gave up hope that they would have a normal life sometime in the future, once they avenged Mary and could retire. Dean is just more open about his desire, or at least lives them out less secretly than John. In my personal canon Dean knows that that is not possible at all and he knows that he is hurting himself with that desire because he will never live that life, not in this world.

All Winchesters are so deeply defined by their desire to have a normal life and what it does/did to them and how they try to achieve it. Guh, family issues. I could just eat them up with a spoon.

Wow, SPN hasn't made me this thinky in a WHILE :DDDDDDDDDDDDD yay! I love it :D.

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